Girl Friday, feck off!

So, I'm sitting in my office, quietly reading and generally enjoying my day when a co-worker of mine trots in and (without invitation) makes herself comfortable in one of my poufy chairs. I say to myself, "Ah, no biggy, she'll have to return to her office before long." It soon became quite clear that I was sadly and sorely mistaken.

I stifled yawns during the story of her newly born baby fish. She and her husband are perfectly capable of raising them WITHOUT everyone elses advice because her husband has had fish before (if only owning something DID make you an expert...).

I thought seriously about just yelling at her to shut the feck up when she started in about her 3 year old son who is still not potty trained and his father who won't help with the potty training. Since she and I will probably continue to work here together, I had to rule that out.

I began having thoughts of suicide when she rattled on about her brother who she has decided is gay (and so what if he is, good for him, I thought) and who still lives at home, buying his mother make-up from QVC. Really. I thought to myself that just maybe, if I jumped out the window, I could get away. A picture entered my -so bored I could absolutely fall over dead from it head-in which I stealthily jumped through said window, landing on the second-story deck and then grabbed the deck railing to gracefully glide over the side and land lightly on the fresh green grass below where I would run screaming to my vehicle and speed away... I lost track of what she was talking about and in the same instance realized it didn't matter because it's all the same.
Whine Whine blah...whine blah blah.. whine bitch blah... blah blah whine... Really, does she not have anything to do in her office??

My dear old dad has a saying that goes, "If you stop broadcasting and start tuning in, you just might learn something." Well, let me tell you, this particular girl is in no immediate danger of education.