First, thanks to all who have either commented or emailed about my grandpa. Here is what is happening:
He does have a tumor on his esophagus. It's about an inch and a half long and is malignant, HOWEVER, the doctor's say don't count him out yet. It is something they feel they can remove and treat, but at this point they do not know if it has spread. That's the big question mark. He has an appointment the 30th of this month for an Oncologist to look at everything and decide how he wants to proceed.
I apologize for the gloom and doom of the last post. I had received all of my information from my mother who is goofy as all shit and I should have known that I needed to talk with everyone before I freaked out.
It may be bad, but we truly don't know yet.
Second, THANKS MAX for the award. Only problem is that I don't know how to retrieve it or what to do with it. I REALLY REALLY want it, though and thanks again.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Grandpa
My apologies to Max for not continuing the story that she tagged me for. This hasn't been one of the better weeks I've had in a while, so I haven't really been on here...
My grandfather was diagnosed with throat cancer. It does not look good. We will find out Friday whether or not it is treatable and even if it is, there is some question as to whether grandpa will take the treatments. He has already said he does not want chemo. I have, for the most part, not dealt with this. As a matter of fact, since I found out, I don't think I've dealt with anything. I kind of feel like I'm in limbo just working really hard not to feel....well, anything. I realize this is not going to work for long, but I figure I really can't deal with it until we find out about treatment anyway.
This whole thing has lead me to think a LOT about why it upsets us so much when we lose our loved ones. Obviously, we miss them. Whether he goes soon or lasts another twenty years I will miss him terribly. But, in cases like this, when the person has lived a full life and when it has been especially rich - as his has, we can't really feel so bad about it, right? I have come to the conclusion that it is the shift. Just the general upheaval of the world. If I lose my grandpa, I lose part of my history. A big part of it.
When my mom had me, we still lived with my grandparents and continued to do so until I was almost 5 years old. As a result, my grandparents were very much like parents to me and still are to this day. It was about 3 months before I turned 5 when we finally moved out of their house and we weren't just moving across town. We were moving 200 miles away. To a very young child, we might as well have been moving to foreign country. I remember sobbing and begging my mother not to make me go.
My grandpa witnessed all of those first years of mine. He knows all of the stories about me, remembers what I looked like, my first steps, the funny mishaps. Hundreds of stories I don't even know about my own childhood, he knows. That history will be lost. Everything will shift. When my grandparents are gone, my mother and dad take on their role, I take on my folks and my son takes on mine. Everything shifts. I don't like it.
I was fortunate enough to have known my grandpa's mom and dad (my great-grandparents). I am fortunate that I am a part of this whole family. What a group! Everyone's a jokester, a practical joke player, everyone laughs like a maniac, plays like a kid, respects the land, loves the animals, enjoys the company of their family. It's such a huge part of who I am. I honestly don't know how I will wake up everyday, when the time comes, and live with the fact that grandpa is not right down the road, watching tv or feeding his cattle or playing with his dog.
I guess when the time comes, and hopefully that will be no time soon, I will just deal with it.
But, if you read this, pray to whoever you pray to for us.
My grandfather was diagnosed with throat cancer. It does not look good. We will find out Friday whether or not it is treatable and even if it is, there is some question as to whether grandpa will take the treatments. He has already said he does not want chemo. I have, for the most part, not dealt with this. As a matter of fact, since I found out, I don't think I've dealt with anything. I kind of feel like I'm in limbo just working really hard not to feel....well, anything. I realize this is not going to work for long, but I figure I really can't deal with it until we find out about treatment anyway.
This whole thing has lead me to think a LOT about why it upsets us so much when we lose our loved ones. Obviously, we miss them. Whether he goes soon or lasts another twenty years I will miss him terribly. But, in cases like this, when the person has lived a full life and when it has been especially rich - as his has, we can't really feel so bad about it, right? I have come to the conclusion that it is the shift. Just the general upheaval of the world. If I lose my grandpa, I lose part of my history. A big part of it.
When my mom had me, we still lived with my grandparents and continued to do so until I was almost 5 years old. As a result, my grandparents were very much like parents to me and still are to this day. It was about 3 months before I turned 5 when we finally moved out of their house and we weren't just moving across town. We were moving 200 miles away. To a very young child, we might as well have been moving to foreign country. I remember sobbing and begging my mother not to make me go.
My grandpa witnessed all of those first years of mine. He knows all of the stories about me, remembers what I looked like, my first steps, the funny mishaps. Hundreds of stories I don't even know about my own childhood, he knows. That history will be lost. Everything will shift. When my grandparents are gone, my mother and dad take on their role, I take on my folks and my son takes on mine. Everything shifts. I don't like it.
I was fortunate enough to have known my grandpa's mom and dad (my great-grandparents). I am fortunate that I am a part of this whole family. What a group! Everyone's a jokester, a practical joke player, everyone laughs like a maniac, plays like a kid, respects the land, loves the animals, enjoys the company of their family. It's such a huge part of who I am. I honestly don't know how I will wake up everyday, when the time comes, and live with the fact that grandpa is not right down the road, watching tv or feeding his cattle or playing with his dog.
I guess when the time comes, and hopefully that will be no time soon, I will just deal with it.
But, if you read this, pray to whoever you pray to for us.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Holiday Help...
I found two places to help those of us who need it to get organized for the holidays:
http://www.organizedchristmas.com/ (pretty good little site, good tips, organizational calendar, recipes, etc.).
http://www.flylady.net/ (I use this site for a lot of different things. Go on the site and look down the left side - you will find a search box where you can search this site. Type in organized holidays or Christmas countdown or something to that effect and it will bring up several links for the site that will help you get ready for the holidays. I really like this site. It's organized, you can print out pages to help you, etc.).
NO MORE HOLIDAY LAST-MINUTE PROCRASTINATION CRAP, PEOPLE! LET'S DO THIS THING!
http://www.organizedchristmas.com/ (pretty good little site, good tips, organizational calendar, recipes, etc.).
http://www.flylady.net/ (I use this site for a lot of different things. Go on the site and look down the left side - you will find a search box where you can search this site. Type in organized holidays or Christmas countdown or something to that effect and it will bring up several links for the site that will help you get ready for the holidays. I really like this site. It's organized, you can print out pages to help you, etc.).
NO MORE HOLIDAY LAST-MINUTE PROCRASTINATION CRAP, PEOPLE! LET'S DO THIS THING!
THE HOLIDAYS ARE UPON US, PEOPLE!
Well, I had to call in sick to work today, which I absolutely HATE to do. I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say that I dare not get more than a few feet from my bathroom today and so I am stuck at home. I like home just fine, don't get me wrong, but left to my own devices and not of my own free will, I tend to get a little sideways. I am bored and I don't feel good, but I don't feel so bad that I should just lay down and sleep the day away. The means by which I can amuse myself are, therefore, quite limited.
So, here's what I've been thinking:
I started out thinking that I need to get on my Christmas shopping. Every September I think that I need to start my Christmas shopping and I picture myself being SO organized that it is absolutely sickening. Presents bought and beautifully wrapped under a gorgeous tree, lights everywhere, wonderful Christmas smells wafting through my house, family talking and laughing with one another. What really happens is that I end up shopping a week before Christmas, wrapping presents the night before and barely getting everything done on time as a result of my procrastination. This does not result in the above mentioned talking, laughing family. It results in a bunch of stressed out people wishing they had been more prepared for the holidays. The only thing that is always true of my fantasy is the beautiful tree which goes up the day after Thanksgiving. That's an absolute must.
So, I'm trying to figure out what I want to get all of the lovely people on my list, hoping I don't buy any lead-paint-laden toys and thinking maybe I will use my time today to get a holiday schedule and menu planned. Good intentions and all that, ya know.
What are your favorite holiday traditions? Are you organized? Tips? Tricks? Help a poor procrastinator out...
So, here's what I've been thinking:
I started out thinking that I need to get on my Christmas shopping. Every September I think that I need to start my Christmas shopping and I picture myself being SO organized that it is absolutely sickening. Presents bought and beautifully wrapped under a gorgeous tree, lights everywhere, wonderful Christmas smells wafting through my house, family talking and laughing with one another. What really happens is that I end up shopping a week before Christmas, wrapping presents the night before and barely getting everything done on time as a result of my procrastination. This does not result in the above mentioned talking, laughing family. It results in a bunch of stressed out people wishing they had been more prepared for the holidays. The only thing that is always true of my fantasy is the beautiful tree which goes up the day after Thanksgiving. That's an absolute must.
So, I'm trying to figure out what I want to get all of the lovely people on my list, hoping I don't buy any lead-paint-laden toys and thinking maybe I will use my time today to get a holiday schedule and menu planned. Good intentions and all that, ya know.
What are your favorite holiday traditions? Are you organized? Tips? Tricks? Help a poor procrastinator out...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
New Horse, No Name
Well, this is the latest in a long line of horses I've recently aquired. Actually not the very latest, because we brought a white one home yesterday about an hour after this one, but it was more of a sympathy purchase, so I'm not putting his picture up because he's sunburned and undernourished. We bathed him last night and started pouring the feed to him, so I think we'll see a whole new horse in a couple of months (the white one, I mean. Clearly, the black one is not sunburned or undernourished).
ANYWAY, the reason I've had so many horses lately is because my mare got a tendon injury early last year and she's not ever going to be ridable again, so we've decided just to raise mule babies out of her. Everything else I've bought to ride since then has been complete crap. Apparently, noone who is selling a horse finds even the most remote need to tell the truth. I find that completely deplorable considering these are very large animals that can hurt or kill you if they really want. Before this one, I bought a beautiful grey, was told he was everything I was looking for, rode him once and ended up on the ground, then had my husband ride him. Thankfully, he didn't end up on the ground, but it certainly wasn't for lack of the horse trying.
So, the above horse is SUPPOSED to be quiet, broke to ride, gentle, etc. etc. etc. We'll see.
Here's the deal, though, they called him "horse" before and I intend to come up with a proper name for him (if he gets to stick around), so if you have any suggestions, comment... Nothing like Bob or Spot or Blackie, though. Something really cool, maybe a foreign word that means something like SUPER GENTLE (he he he...)!
Local Pregnant Woman Murdered by Husband...
Last night, while watching the local news, I heard this story:
Police arrest a suspect in a stabbing that left one woman dead.
Richard Allred, 51, was arrested after he was released from the hospital Tuesday.
Allred is charged with 2nd degree murder and armed criminal action.
Those charges stem from a stabbing that happened last Friday at the couple's home on South Paula in Springfield.
Police found 33-year-old Jamie Allred stabbed to death. Her husband Richard also had a stab wound.
He remained in the hospital under police guard until being released today.
Autopsy results showed that Jamie did die from stab wounds to her neck and chest.
Richard Allred is held at the Greene County Jail on $500,000 bond.
Police arrest a suspect in a stabbing that left one woman dead.
Richard Allred, 51, was arrested after he was released from the hospital Tuesday.
Allred is charged with 2nd degree murder and armed criminal action.
Those charges stem from a stabbing that happened last Friday at the couple's home on South Paula in Springfield.
Police found 33-year-old Jamie Allred stabbed to death. Her husband Richard also had a stab wound.
He remained in the hospital under police guard until being released today.
Autopsy results showed that Jamie did die from stab wounds to her neck and chest.
Richard Allred is held at the Greene County Jail on $500,000 bond.
While this story is quite alarming enough, what this brief blurb does not say is that Jamie was pregant with Richard's child. The news went on to say (and this is where I about fell out of my chair) that Homicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among pregnant women in this country! WHAT? I never once, while I was pregnant with my son, considered that I might have to worry about his father (or anyone else, for that matter) killing me. Those statistics are shocking, to say the least. A local policeman was quoted as saying that sometimes husbands and boyfriends just cannot deal with the stress of knowing that they have a baby on the way and that they eventually just snap and attack the woman who is pregnant with their child... huh? Go have a beer with the boys. Take a jog. Hey, if you have to, just tell her that you can't handle it and you don't want to be a part of their lives. YOU DON'T PICK UP A WEAPON AND KILL SOMEONE OVER IT!
I am completely dumbfounded by this. Not to mention that if you notice in the above news story, Richard Allred is charged with 2nd degree murder and armed criminal action. REALLY? You get pissed off and stab your pregnant wife to death and THOSE are the charges? I realize that, in this case, they are saying that he had not planned ahead and so that is where the 2nd degree charge comes in, but there was also a documented history of domestic violence in that home. For God's sake, under what circumstances are you fighting with your spouse and decide that it is okay to pick up a knife and stab them TO DEATH? I also notice that it does not mention in his charges that he is charged with the death of his unborn child. I am hoping to see these charges changed dramatically before he goes to trial. What a monster.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Morning Wood
Yeah, it's exactly like it sounds. Behold the conversation my 12-year-old son decided to have with me a few nights ago at his bedtime:
"MOM," he SCREAMED across the house, "I CAN'T FIND ANY SHORTS!"
"Son, you are wearing shorts." (They were boxer-briefs, which are like shorts, ya know. The new underwear that go halfway down the thigh).
"NUH-UH! THESE ARE MY UNDERWEAR!"
"Well, what's the difference? You are going to bed. What's the difference if you sleep in those or in gym shorts?"
This is where he comes into the living room, sits down across the room from me, sighs like he is having to be very patient with his mother (who, apparently just does not get it) and then he drops this bomb:
"Well, mom, this is probably going to scar you for life, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I'm 12 now and every morning I wake up with wood. If I wear gym shorts, no one will be able to tell, but if I just wear my underwear, it's really obvious, okay?"
My response was said with such speed it would have put any of those car commercial disclaimer-reader-guys to shame:
"No problem son, I'll make sure and wash all of your gym shorts tonight and keep some clean for you so that you have plenty of them to sleep in, now you better get your teeth brushed and get in bed, it's getting late..."
I'm still debating whether or not I'm scarred for life.
"MOM," he SCREAMED across the house, "I CAN'T FIND ANY SHORTS!"
"Son, you are wearing shorts." (They were boxer-briefs, which are like shorts, ya know. The new underwear that go halfway down the thigh).
"NUH-UH! THESE ARE MY UNDERWEAR!"
"Well, what's the difference? You are going to bed. What's the difference if you sleep in those or in gym shorts?"
This is where he comes into the living room, sits down across the room from me, sighs like he is having to be very patient with his mother (who, apparently just does not get it) and then he drops this bomb:
"Well, mom, this is probably going to scar you for life, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I'm 12 now and every morning I wake up with wood. If I wear gym shorts, no one will be able to tell, but if I just wear my underwear, it's really obvious, okay?"
My response was said with such speed it would have put any of those car commercial disclaimer-reader-guys to shame:
"No problem son, I'll make sure and wash all of your gym shorts tonight and keep some clean for you so that you have plenty of them to sleep in, now you better get your teeth brushed and get in bed, it's getting late..."
I'm still debating whether or not I'm scarred for life.
Misc. catching up after vacation
Back from vacation. Had a really good time. Let's see...
I went horseback riding a couple of times and had fun. My husband and I and one of my oldest friends (not that he's old, but I've known him for a really long time, ya know?) all went and had a ball except that we were the first ones down the trail that morning and the spiders were EVERYWHERE! Well, I'm deathly afraid of anything even remotely spider-like, so my husband had to go in front and swat them all down with a branch.... good man. Thankfully, the ride was uneventful other than good fun and conversation. In other words, it's one of the few horseback experiences I've had in recent history where I DIDN'T end up on the ground and that's always good.
I went to a big Blues concert in Springfield, MO. That was fun. The line up was the Cate Brothers, The Lara Price Band, Anthony Gomes, Leon Russell and the North Mississippi Allstars. Leon Russell was the biggest name there and, unfortunately, the sound was SO bad for his portion of the show that we all left for his part and came back to see the North Mississippi Allstars. I managed to meet and get my pic taken with the NMA bassist, which was the highlight of my day.
I read 3 books while on vacation. Terry Pratchett's, Good Omen's and The Art of Discworld and Inkspell by Cornelia Funke. Great reads, all of them. I have currently started collecting all of the Discworld series, 1st Edition, hardcovers. That first one is a real bitch to get ahold of. I'm thinking my husband will have to get me that one for Christmas... in other words, give me the money and I will order it. He's not too suave with the internet. Just the other day, he bought me a new saddle for my birthday. He bought it off ebay and it was supposed to be a surprise. Little did he know, I was watching the saddle and could very clearly see that he was the winning bidder. Blew the surprise, but he would have ended up telling me anyway. I'm just proud of him for shopping so far ahead of time. My birthday is another 5 or 6 weeks away!
The rest of vacation was just general hanging out with friends, organizing my house (fall cleaning), etc. Not real exciting, but just what I needed!
I went horseback riding a couple of times and had fun. My husband and I and one of my oldest friends (not that he's old, but I've known him for a really long time, ya know?) all went and had a ball except that we were the first ones down the trail that morning and the spiders were EVERYWHERE! Well, I'm deathly afraid of anything even remotely spider-like, so my husband had to go in front and swat them all down with a branch.... good man. Thankfully, the ride was uneventful other than good fun and conversation. In other words, it's one of the few horseback experiences I've had in recent history where I DIDN'T end up on the ground and that's always good.
I went to a big Blues concert in Springfield, MO. That was fun. The line up was the Cate Brothers, The Lara Price Band, Anthony Gomes, Leon Russell and the North Mississippi Allstars. Leon Russell was the biggest name there and, unfortunately, the sound was SO bad for his portion of the show that we all left for his part and came back to see the North Mississippi Allstars. I managed to meet and get my pic taken with the NMA bassist, which was the highlight of my day.
I read 3 books while on vacation. Terry Pratchett's, Good Omen's and The Art of Discworld and Inkspell by Cornelia Funke. Great reads, all of them. I have currently started collecting all of the Discworld series, 1st Edition, hardcovers. That first one is a real bitch to get ahold of. I'm thinking my husband will have to get me that one for Christmas... in other words, give me the money and I will order it. He's not too suave with the internet. Just the other day, he bought me a new saddle for my birthday. He bought it off ebay and it was supposed to be a surprise. Little did he know, I was watching the saddle and could very clearly see that he was the winning bidder. Blew the surprise, but he would have ended up telling me anyway. I'm just proud of him for shopping so far ahead of time. My birthday is another 5 or 6 weeks away!
The rest of vacation was just general hanging out with friends, organizing my house (fall cleaning), etc. Not real exciting, but just what I needed!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Most Sincere Apologies...
I haven't been writing here, have I? I do apologize. The past 3 weeks have been quite a turmoil at work and my mind just had NOT been here. Things seem to have calmed down for the time being and I have decided to take a weeks vacation in September to ward off the burn out. I shall return good as new.
Let's see, in the past three weeks I've been concerned with a few things:
Restless Leg Syndrome. My Gods, what, all the sudden, has caused so very many people's legs to go into this uncontrollable twitchy state? Thankfully the drug companies are coming to our rescue with their prescriptions. Side effects, apparently, may include hallucinations, problems with gambling, compulsive eating and increased sex drive. So, basically, you may lose everything you own while gambling and taking your fat, pink elephant seeing ass to hookers every night, but your twitchy leg problem will be a thing of the past. Okay, there's that problem solved.
My most fabulous friend was finally able to tell her old, crappy employer to take the proverbial flying leap and landed a great new job. Congrats to her and good luck on her first day tomorrow.
I finally broke down and bought a new car. Very happy about that.
Had the day off yesterday. That's right....I was off on a SATURDAY and it wasn't even the rapture! Spent the day with my son, of course. We went and saw STARDUST. LOVED it. Had some of the best sushi....no, wait....THE best sushi of my life, bought some books. Good day!
Now that you are all caught up, I shall try very hard not to abandon my post here for more than a couple days at a time. I promise...I'll try...
Let's see, in the past three weeks I've been concerned with a few things:
Restless Leg Syndrome. My Gods, what, all the sudden, has caused so very many people's legs to go into this uncontrollable twitchy state? Thankfully the drug companies are coming to our rescue with their prescriptions. Side effects, apparently, may include hallucinations, problems with gambling, compulsive eating and increased sex drive. So, basically, you may lose everything you own while gambling and taking your fat, pink elephant seeing ass to hookers every night, but your twitchy leg problem will be a thing of the past. Okay, there's that problem solved.
My most fabulous friend was finally able to tell her old, crappy employer to take the proverbial flying leap and landed a great new job. Congrats to her and good luck on her first day tomorrow.
I finally broke down and bought a new car. Very happy about that.
Had the day off yesterday. That's right....I was off on a SATURDAY and it wasn't even the rapture! Spent the day with my son, of course. We went and saw STARDUST. LOVED it. Had some of the best sushi....no, wait....THE best sushi of my life, bought some books. Good day!
Now that you are all caught up, I shall try very hard not to abandon my post here for more than a couple days at a time. I promise...I'll try...
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Ralfohgodwhatwasithinkini'mgoingtodie
Went out last night. I don't drink. I have a horrible and unforgiving migraine which seems to be punishing me for things I have not done. All I did was go out with a couple of friends, drink Club Soda with lime, laugh at the guy with the Mullhawk who was break dancing (and I use that term loosely), go back to the cabin at Midnight and go to sleep. Pretty damned innocent, right? Well then you tell me what the hell is happening with my body.
Migraines and unwarranted hangovers...Somebady call Bush because THIS is the Axis of Evil...grumble...
Migraines and unwarranted hangovers...Somebady call Bush because THIS is the Axis of Evil...grumble...
Monday, July 30, 2007
Oh My Goodyness...He's been arrested!
Let me tell you about work today. This is some really great shtuff!
We had some people picketing in front of one of our resorts because...(and I'm NOT kidding)... that particular resort does not have an indoor pool. (It has 2 beautiful outdoor pools and it is about a hundred degrees here and not raining... I ask you, what the hell?
Anywhooo...the contracts manager, who is a good friend of mine went outside to kinda defend our honour, so to speak, and damned if the cops didn't cuff him and put him in the squad car! Nevermind the people picketing on private property and blocking our driveway when people are trying to get here to check in, just cuff the dude who is doing his job.
I am saying this with a big fat smile: I took pictures and they are funny.
Also, it's Iris's Birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRIS!!!!!
We had some people picketing in front of one of our resorts because...(and I'm NOT kidding)... that particular resort does not have an indoor pool. (It has 2 beautiful outdoor pools and it is about a hundred degrees here and not raining... I ask you, what the hell?
Anywhooo...the contracts manager, who is a good friend of mine went outside to kinda defend our honour, so to speak, and damned if the cops didn't cuff him and put him in the squad car! Nevermind the people picketing on private property and blocking our driveway when people are trying to get here to check in, just cuff the dude who is doing his job.
I am saying this with a big fat smile: I took pictures and they are funny.
Also, it's Iris's Birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRIS!!!!!
Shooter
After going on my mini-tirade about politics yesterday, I went home last night and watched a movie called Shooter (Mark Wahlberg). This movie did not help the conspiracy theorist within, let me just tell you. It's a great movie, though. You should check it out if you like action flicks.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Politics
What is it they say? Never talk about Sex, Religion or Politics, right? Well, I generally try to keep these posts to the lighthearted side of things, but this morning I was watching some news program while getting ready for work and it really pissed me off.
The entire show was a question/answer forum and the reporter would fire off questions to 3 or 4 different politicians and they would answer...or would they? Not really. I absolutely hate the way politicians skirt the subject or talk about "strategies." Strategy? What the hell does strategy have to do with it? Or better yet, what SHOULD strategy have to do with it?
I wish I had counted the number of times one of these politicians said something to the tune of, "Well, Hillary (or Obama or Rudy or Fred) needs to go about this in a way that....blah blah blah." Or (insert name here) needs to realize the impact that this will have on his/her campaign if...blah blah strategy...blah bullshit strategy...
You know what I (emphasis on I) think? I think if we didn't have one of the most crooked governments in the world, our candidates would not need to worry about strategy. I think that if our government was not so steeped in corruption, the candidates would be able to come out on their little platforms and talk to us like the intelligent human beings we are, lay out all of the facts, tell us how they really feel and then let us decide. Unfortunately, as far as I'm concerned, we have one of the most shady, unprincipled governments in the world. Apparently since it's the government of the USA, though, those who run it get to focus on how unethical some other countries are without answering for their own shortcomings.
These politicians are always talking about how OBVIOUS it is that they need to take this strategy or that strategy when it seems OBVIOUS to me (and pretty much everyone else I speak to) that they are running this country into the ground, most of the rest of the world is, at least, wary of us if not downright pissed at us and we just keep trucking on, condemning everyone else, pointing fingers all around without any accountability for what we do.
I can only hope and pray that the citizens of these other countries that we so often pick on or piss off understand that the everyday citizen like myself does not condone this bullshit behavior.
Ouch...I just fell off my soapbox, so that is all for now...Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!
Disclaimer: I don't feel that ALL politicians are bad. I do feel that most of the good ones do not get the same opportunities that the good ole strategists get. Also, I'm a little bitch today.
The entire show was a question/answer forum and the reporter would fire off questions to 3 or 4 different politicians and they would answer...or would they? Not really. I absolutely hate the way politicians skirt the subject or talk about "strategies." Strategy? What the hell does strategy have to do with it? Or better yet, what SHOULD strategy have to do with it?
I wish I had counted the number of times one of these politicians said something to the tune of, "Well, Hillary (or Obama or Rudy or Fred) needs to go about this in a way that....blah blah blah." Or (insert name here) needs to realize the impact that this will have on his/her campaign if...blah blah strategy...blah bullshit strategy...
You know what I (emphasis on I) think? I think if we didn't have one of the most crooked governments in the world, our candidates would not need to worry about strategy. I think that if our government was not so steeped in corruption, the candidates would be able to come out on their little platforms and talk to us like the intelligent human beings we are, lay out all of the facts, tell us how they really feel and then let us decide. Unfortunately, as far as I'm concerned, we have one of the most shady, unprincipled governments in the world. Apparently since it's the government of the USA, though, those who run it get to focus on how unethical some other countries are without answering for their own shortcomings.
These politicians are always talking about how OBVIOUS it is that they need to take this strategy or that strategy when it seems OBVIOUS to me (and pretty much everyone else I speak to) that they are running this country into the ground, most of the rest of the world is, at least, wary of us if not downright pissed at us and we just keep trucking on, condemning everyone else, pointing fingers all around without any accountability for what we do.
I can only hope and pray that the citizens of these other countries that we so often pick on or piss off understand that the everyday citizen like myself does not condone this bullshit behavior.
Ouch...I just fell off my soapbox, so that is all for now...Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!
Disclaimer: I don't feel that ALL politicians are bad. I do feel that most of the good ones do not get the same opportunities that the good ole strategists get. Also, I'm a little bitch today.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
I HAVE Arrived....er, Returned!
Well, I've been back from vacation for over a week, but what a week it's been. For the 5 of you who read this blog (snicker, snort, laugh)...sorry for the delay. I'm sure you've been waiting with bated breath.
First off: Trip Report
My son, Dalton, and I arrived in Eureka Springs on Tuesday morning, checked into some less than desirable accomodations (never staying in that Bed and Breakfast again) and set out shopping. I, being the ultra-smart mom that I am, knew if we didn't go shopping first, I would never hear the end of his longing for a new knife. (leave it to this semi-pacifist to have a son who collects knives. I know what you're asking and the answer is "semi" because sometimes people really, really piss me off).
ANYWAY (I'm getting so far off the subject that I'm starting to sound like my friend Mike), we hiked around Eureka while we were shopping and took a lot of cool pictures, too. Then it was off to the Crescent Hotel for the Ghost Tour. (Visit here http://www.eureka-springs-ghost.com/ for more information on that). What a great time this was! It's not the BOO, I BET I SCARED YOU kind of spook house, but an historic hotel with quite a past and some other worldy visitors. Definitely worth the trip.
Wednesday, we went to Blue Spring (http://www.bluespringheritage.com/) and did some hiking and more photography. It was hotter than Hell's attic, but we hardly noticed the heat because we were having so much fun.
Of course, the dining was fantastic all the way around, as it always is in Eureka Springs and the folks who live there were as nice as ever.
Since I've been home, my step-daughter has given us quite a scare with a trip to the ER, a spinal tap and a diagnosis of Viral Meningitis. She's doing okay now.
I went the very next day to the ER with a migraine I could not get control of.
I bought a new horse, which I've already managed to....erm...unseat myself from. It was quite a distance to the ground and dear gods I am sore, but shall recover to ride again (to the horse's dismay, I'm sure...lazy creatures).
The rest of the week has been filled with work, the drive to work and the drive home from work. Who the hell works 40 miles from their home?
Oh yeah, I also sold my truck to a crackhead.
I'd say that about catches everything up to this point.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND....all 5 of you! ;-)
First off: Trip Report
My son, Dalton, and I arrived in Eureka Springs on Tuesday morning, checked into some less than desirable accomodations (never staying in that Bed and Breakfast again) and set out shopping. I, being the ultra-smart mom that I am, knew if we didn't go shopping first, I would never hear the end of his longing for a new knife. (leave it to this semi-pacifist to have a son who collects knives. I know what you're asking and the answer is "semi" because sometimes people really, really piss me off).
ANYWAY (I'm getting so far off the subject that I'm starting to sound like my friend Mike), we hiked around Eureka while we were shopping and took a lot of cool pictures, too. Then it was off to the Crescent Hotel for the Ghost Tour. (Visit here http://www.eureka-springs-ghost.com/ for more information on that). What a great time this was! It's not the BOO, I BET I SCARED YOU kind of spook house, but an historic hotel with quite a past and some other worldy visitors. Definitely worth the trip.
Wednesday, we went to Blue Spring (http://www.bluespringheritage.com/) and did some hiking and more photography. It was hotter than Hell's attic, but we hardly noticed the heat because we were having so much fun.
Of course, the dining was fantastic all the way around, as it always is in Eureka Springs and the folks who live there were as nice as ever.
Since I've been home, my step-daughter has given us quite a scare with a trip to the ER, a spinal tap and a diagnosis of Viral Meningitis. She's doing okay now.
I went the very next day to the ER with a migraine I could not get control of.
I bought a new horse, which I've already managed to....erm...unseat myself from. It was quite a distance to the ground and dear gods I am sore, but shall recover to ride again (to the horse's dismay, I'm sure...lazy creatures).
The rest of the week has been filled with work, the drive to work and the drive home from work. Who the hell works 40 miles from their home?
Oh yeah, I also sold my truck to a crackhead.
I'd say that about catches everything up to this point.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND....all 5 of you! ;-)
Monday, July 16, 2007
Death of the Tooth Fairy
My cousin called the other day to tell me that her sons had been up to no good. Not unusual for them, but this episode really takes the cake:
She has 2 boys, 5 and 3 years old. The older one had discovered he had a loose tooth and went to ask his mom how much money he would get from the tooth fairy for it. She told him he would probably get a dollar and apparently, he thought that was right up town. So, he and his little brother went to work on it right away. They tied string around his tooth and he gave said string to his little brother and told him to yank out the tooth. Little brother did yank and it must have been a good one because....tah dah.... they managed to yank out the wrong tooth. It was the tooth NEXT to the loose tooth. My cousin has been trying to figure out how to discourage the boys from this kind of behaviour without telling them the tooth fairy does not really exist.
My mom wasn't so thoughtful (not that I blame her considering the circumstances)...
You see, when I was a child, my dad worked out of town a lot and I would sleep in mom's bedroom with her. Basically we were both huge fraidy cats and both afraid to sleep alone. So, one night after I lost a tooth, I placed it carefully under my pillow in my mom's bed and went to sleep. The next morning when I awoke I remembered that I should have some money under the pillow and went fishing for it. Mom was still asleep when I started screaming, TWENTY-SIX DOLLARS!!! TWENTY-SIX DOLLARS!!! THE TOOTH FAIRY LEFT ME TWENTY-SIX DOLLARS!" Mom woke up in midst of the hysterical screaming, blinked a few times, got a horrified look of comprehension on her face and said, "Give that back, it was supposed to be three dollars." She had mistakenly given me a twenty, a five and a one instead of three ones. Thus ended the little pink wing-ed one's illustrious career in my home...
So, that brings up a question. How did you find out there was no such thing as the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny or any other childhood characters? Were you traumatized, surprised or expecting it? Do tell!
By the way, have I mentioned? I'M GOING ON VACATION TOMORROW!!!! Sure it's only 3 days, but it counts!!!
She has 2 boys, 5 and 3 years old. The older one had discovered he had a loose tooth and went to ask his mom how much money he would get from the tooth fairy for it. She told him he would probably get a dollar and apparently, he thought that was right up town. So, he and his little brother went to work on it right away. They tied string around his tooth and he gave said string to his little brother and told him to yank out the tooth. Little brother did yank and it must have been a good one because....tah dah.... they managed to yank out the wrong tooth. It was the tooth NEXT to the loose tooth. My cousin has been trying to figure out how to discourage the boys from this kind of behaviour without telling them the tooth fairy does not really exist.
My mom wasn't so thoughtful (not that I blame her considering the circumstances)...
You see, when I was a child, my dad worked out of town a lot and I would sleep in mom's bedroom with her. Basically we were both huge fraidy cats and both afraid to sleep alone. So, one night after I lost a tooth, I placed it carefully under my pillow in my mom's bed and went to sleep. The next morning when I awoke I remembered that I should have some money under the pillow and went fishing for it. Mom was still asleep when I started screaming, TWENTY-SIX DOLLARS!!! TWENTY-SIX DOLLARS!!! THE TOOTH FAIRY LEFT ME TWENTY-SIX DOLLARS!" Mom woke up in midst of the hysterical screaming, blinked a few times, got a horrified look of comprehension on her face and said, "Give that back, it was supposed to be three dollars." She had mistakenly given me a twenty, a five and a one instead of three ones. Thus ended the little pink wing-ed one's illustrious career in my home...
So, that brings up a question. How did you find out there was no such thing as the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny or any other childhood characters? Were you traumatized, surprised or expecting it? Do tell!
By the way, have I mentioned? I'M GOING ON VACATION TOMORROW!!!! Sure it's only 3 days, but it counts!!!
The Indestructible Comb-Over!
I was sitting in my office chatting with a friend of mine this morning when I noticed her staring out the window with a confused look on her face. I looked in the direction her head was turned and saw none other than THE MOST FANTASTIC, AWE-INSPIRING COMB-OVER, EVER!!!
If the sun wore a wig, THIS is what it would look like! If Phoebe Buffet and C. Montgomery Burns popped out a kid, this would be his hair at age 60 (hair's pretty thin, but let's spike it really good around the back)!
I have long suspected that the reason men go on with the travesty that is the comb-over is that most of them cannot see the place where they part it to do the combing over and, hey, if you can't see it in the mirror then it can't be that bad, right?
If this guy would pay me enough, I would just follow him around announcing his hair with jazz hands:
INTRODUCING........................(drum roll)......... THE COMB-OVER!!!!! (jazz hands)........
If the sun wore a wig, THIS is what it would look like! If Phoebe Buffet and C. Montgomery Burns popped out a kid, this would be his hair at age 60 (hair's pretty thin, but let's spike it really good around the back)!
I have long suspected that the reason men go on with the travesty that is the comb-over is that most of them cannot see the place where they part it to do the combing over and, hey, if you can't see it in the mirror then it can't be that bad, right?
If this guy would pay me enough, I would just follow him around announcing his hair with jazz hands:
INTRODUCING........................(drum roll)......... THE COMB-OVER!!!!! (jazz hands)........
Call in the Replacements...
Dear Fleemco,
Could you please replace my codgy old husband with someone who would like to go out and do something that doesn't involve livestock or our yard? A little culture would do just the trick and then you can send him back.
Thank you sincerely
Could you please replace my codgy old husband with someone who would like to go out and do something that doesn't involve livestock or our yard? A little culture would do just the trick and then you can send him back.
Thank you sincerely
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Girl Friday, Part 2...of a miniseries.
I just finished listening to 30 (and I'm not kidding one damn, tiny little bit) minutes of Girl Friday going on about the boil her son has between his wee little butt cheeks. Before you go all pissy on me, YES, I feel very sorry for the little tyke. I do not, however, feel the need to hear what it looks like, what it's consistency is, how many times she's squeezed it or the description of how he sits in the bath. CALL ME CRAZY!
I think I'm going to have to work on my "stealth" mode. If I were just a bit more stealthy, maybe I could avoid her altogether.
On a fantastically upbeat note: 1 more day until my mini-vacation!!!!
I think I'm going to have to work on my "stealth" mode. If I were just a bit more stealthy, maybe I could avoid her altogether.
On a fantastically upbeat note: 1 more day until my mini-vacation!!!!
Hell's Driving Exam
I was just over at http://thetotallytransparentparty.blogspot.com/ reading her latest and it made me think about taking my driver's test when I was 16.
I grew up in a town with a population of 1,920 people. Not exactly a metropolis. We did not even have one single, solitary stoplight. (17 years later, they have managed to get one, but just the one). Anyway, we didn't even have a Department of Motor Vehicles, so I had to go elsewhere to test.
I turned 16 on a Friday, which I initially thought was going to be great because I'd go get my license and then I'd be able to cruise around all weekend (after all, I'd started driving on the farm when I was 6 and had driven all over the county by the time I'd turned 16. I mean to say, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?). Well, let me just tell you...
First, I woke up with a cold sore which caused me to have a fat lip. That was going to look good in the picture and god knows a 16 year old girl could have her entire life come to a halt if her drivers licence picture doesn't look good. Eventually I stopped having a fit and started trying to disguise it with make-up.
Next, I found out that the only place in the area where you could take your exam on a Friday was Springfield, which was about 25 miles away and the 3rd largest city in my state. Okay, YOU are probably thinking what I SHOULD have been thinking...grew up in a town with no stoplight, taking test in 3rd largest city in the state...maybe not the swiftest idea, right? But, I dragged my mother up there in my dad's little pick-up truck, insistent that I get my license that day so that I could cruise with my friends all weekend.
Naturally, they make you take your written test first and I passed that with a 95%. Great, huh? Then the examiner followed me out to my dad's truck and began his inspection of the vehicle and...no horn. "You can't take the driving part of the test if your horn doesn't work," said he. "WHAT? Whine, bitch, moan, whine, whine, whine, beg," said I. He was not tempted to break the rules, even with all the whining. In fact, I'm quite certain that he had heard it all before. SO, back to my hometown to get our other truck and then repeat trip to DMV.
Returned in our other pick-up. Examiner guy comes back out and...no left blinker. At this point, I was nothing less than completely distraught. I mean, how many times could I expect my mother to cart me back and forth, 50 miles round trip, just because I could not POSSIBLY wait until Monday to get this coveted license-thingy?! That day she was a saint. She drove me back home and called her best friend to see if I could borrow her pick-up. (Can you tell I grew up in a farming community? We all drove trucks).
One last trip back Springfield, vehicle passed inspection and... nearing the end of my driving exam, I ran a red light (remember those foreign things we did not have in my town?) and almost hit a cop car. Needless to say, after all of that, I flunked SPECTACULARLY... What else was there to do but go clothes shopping to make myself feel better? It did work a little.
After a weekend of sensational sulking, I went to the town just West of ours and passed my driving exam. To finish off one of the biggest "traveshamockeries" of my illustrious career so far, I managed to completely botch my picture anyway. The photographer at the DMV said, "Ready?" I said, "huh?" And for the next several years, HUH?, is exactly what you would have thought had you seen that picture. I couldn't even pull it out of my purse like the rest of my friends and triumphantly squeal, "Like, dude! Check it out! I got my license!"
I grew up in a town with a population of 1,920 people. Not exactly a metropolis. We did not even have one single, solitary stoplight. (17 years later, they have managed to get one, but just the one). Anyway, we didn't even have a Department of Motor Vehicles, so I had to go elsewhere to test.
I turned 16 on a Friday, which I initially thought was going to be great because I'd go get my license and then I'd be able to cruise around all weekend (after all, I'd started driving on the farm when I was 6 and had driven all over the county by the time I'd turned 16. I mean to say, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?). Well, let me just tell you...
First, I woke up with a cold sore which caused me to have a fat lip. That was going to look good in the picture and god knows a 16 year old girl could have her entire life come to a halt if her drivers licence picture doesn't look good. Eventually I stopped having a fit and started trying to disguise it with make-up.
Next, I found out that the only place in the area where you could take your exam on a Friday was Springfield, which was about 25 miles away and the 3rd largest city in my state. Okay, YOU are probably thinking what I SHOULD have been thinking...grew up in a town with no stoplight, taking test in 3rd largest city in the state...maybe not the swiftest idea, right? But, I dragged my mother up there in my dad's little pick-up truck, insistent that I get my license that day so that I could cruise with my friends all weekend.
Naturally, they make you take your written test first and I passed that with a 95%. Great, huh? Then the examiner followed me out to my dad's truck and began his inspection of the vehicle and...no horn. "You can't take the driving part of the test if your horn doesn't work," said he. "WHAT? Whine, bitch, moan, whine, whine, whine, beg," said I. He was not tempted to break the rules, even with all the whining. In fact, I'm quite certain that he had heard it all before. SO, back to my hometown to get our other truck and then repeat trip to DMV.
Returned in our other pick-up. Examiner guy comes back out and...no left blinker. At this point, I was nothing less than completely distraught. I mean, how many times could I expect my mother to cart me back and forth, 50 miles round trip, just because I could not POSSIBLY wait until Monday to get this coveted license-thingy?! That day she was a saint. She drove me back home and called her best friend to see if I could borrow her pick-up. (Can you tell I grew up in a farming community? We all drove trucks).
One last trip back Springfield, vehicle passed inspection and... nearing the end of my driving exam, I ran a red light (remember those foreign things we did not have in my town?) and almost hit a cop car. Needless to say, after all of that, I flunked SPECTACULARLY... What else was there to do but go clothes shopping to make myself feel better? It did work a little.
After a weekend of sensational sulking, I went to the town just West of ours and passed my driving exam. To finish off one of the biggest "traveshamockeries" of my illustrious career so far, I managed to completely botch my picture anyway. The photographer at the DMV said, "Ready?" I said, "huh?" And for the next several years, HUH?, is exactly what you would have thought had you seen that picture. I couldn't even pull it out of my purse like the rest of my friends and triumphantly squeal, "Like, dude! Check it out! I got my license!"
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Dastardly Coworkers
I have had one of the absolutely shittiest days at work today. You know the drill. You work in a building with a hundred other people and it's inevitable that you will butt heads sometimes. Thankfully, the universe has seen fit to lighten the mood for me (thanks universe...).
I went to use the restroom and when I turned to flush I saw....my dental floss from this morning floating there in the ole chamber pot. I stared for a good five seconds trying to figure this one out and can only conclude that when I threw it away this morning, it didn't make it to the trash. Obviously it was stuck to me when I got dressed. Needless to say, I cracked completely up standing there in the stall. When I recounted this tale to a friend of mine who was also having a shitty day, we went into absolute FITS of laughter.
I think I shall survive this day after all...
I went to use the restroom and when I turned to flush I saw....my dental floss from this morning floating there in the ole chamber pot. I stared for a good five seconds trying to figure this one out and can only conclude that when I threw it away this morning, it didn't make it to the trash. Obviously it was stuck to me when I got dressed. Needless to say, I cracked completely up standing there in the stall. When I recounted this tale to a friend of mine who was also having a shitty day, we went into absolute FITS of laughter.
I think I shall survive this day after all...
Friday, July 13, 2007
Dr. Jekyl and Princess Hyde
My mother is a drinker. I don't know where to go from there. There are 32 years of not-so-nice history between the two of us and her little habit. That's not what this is about, though. THIS is about her mocking me yesterday. Slurringly mocking me. Slocking me, if you will. I am not impressed...
You see when mommy isn't drinking she is mommy. She is witty, intelligent and well-spoken. When she is drinking, she is roughly the equivilent of Satan's Sister. (I can say this with some authority as Satan's Sister actually does work with me).
Over the years, I've devised plans to interact with her ONLY when I know she is not drunk. Eg. I don't answer my phone after 6pm when I see it is her calling. I only attend her mandatory family functions until around 2pm. Since she starts drinking at breakfast, 2 is a good time to shag out. You get the idea.
Sometimes, though, she sneaks in on you when you are least expecting it. Yesterday, I was driving home from work. The phone rang. It was mom and it was just now 6pm:
Me: Hello?
Mommy Dearest (MD): Where are YOU? (The word "you" was absolutely SOAKED in venom.)
Me: On my way home from work. What's up? (I always try to remain at my most chipper when she is in this state. I'm not sure if I hope it will encourage her to do the same or if because I know it absolutely enrages her for someone to DARE be cheery when she is so seething with drunken anger. I cheerfully suspect it is the latter).
MD: What the hell ish going on at work? (you see, I, in a blind fit of stupidity, helped her get a job at the same place I work).
Me: Whatever do you mean?
MD: Well, mah bossh just called and shaid I don't have to work morrow. Firsht he shays I do and then he shays I do not. I wish shomeone would tell me when the hell I'm shupposhed work...
Me: He did. You don't have to work tomorrow.
TO WHICH SHE SAID: "He did...You don't have to work amorrow," in a MOST infuriatingly mocking tone.
I hung up on her, panicked about hanging up on her, decided it was a job well done, panicked again and then spent the rest of the drive home thinking about it.
I finally decided after hashing the whole thing over and worrying about what she might do today that it is highly unlikely she will even remember we had this conversation. Although, it's 1:30 now and she hasn't rang as of yet....re-panicking a little... She could, after all, ban my little sisters from coming to see me. Oh HELL!
You see when mommy isn't drinking she is mommy. She is witty, intelligent and well-spoken. When she is drinking, she is roughly the equivilent of Satan's Sister. (I can say this with some authority as Satan's Sister actually does work with me).
Over the years, I've devised plans to interact with her ONLY when I know she is not drunk. Eg. I don't answer my phone after 6pm when I see it is her calling. I only attend her mandatory family functions until around 2pm. Since she starts drinking at breakfast, 2 is a good time to shag out. You get the idea.
Sometimes, though, she sneaks in on you when you are least expecting it. Yesterday, I was driving home from work. The phone rang. It was mom and it was just now 6pm:
Me: Hello?
Mommy Dearest (MD): Where are YOU? (The word "you" was absolutely SOAKED in venom.)
Me: On my way home from work. What's up? (I always try to remain at my most chipper when she is in this state. I'm not sure if I hope it will encourage her to do the same or if because I know it absolutely enrages her for someone to DARE be cheery when she is so seething with drunken anger. I cheerfully suspect it is the latter).
MD: What the hell ish going on at work? (you see, I, in a blind fit of stupidity, helped her get a job at the same place I work).
Me: Whatever do you mean?
MD: Well, mah bossh just called and shaid I don't have to work morrow. Firsht he shays I do and then he shays I do not. I wish shomeone would tell me when the hell I'm shupposhed work...
Me: He did. You don't have to work tomorrow.
TO WHICH SHE SAID: "He did...You don't have to work amorrow," in a MOST infuriatingly mocking tone.
I hung up on her, panicked about hanging up on her, decided it was a job well done, panicked again and then spent the rest of the drive home thinking about it.
I finally decided after hashing the whole thing over and worrying about what she might do today that it is highly unlikely she will even remember we had this conversation. Although, it's 1:30 now and she hasn't rang as of yet....re-panicking a little... She could, after all, ban my little sisters from coming to see me. Oh HELL!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Girl's Day Out
Well, I spent Tuesday with one of my dearest friends. The order of the day went something like:
1. Shopping
2. Lunch
3. Shopping
4. Shopping (many shoes were bought)
5. Pedicures
6. Ice Cream (funnel cake for me, thank you).
Does it get ANY better than that??!!
A good looking guy asked for my friend's number. She's been married for a bit now, so she was completely shocked and it made me laugh. "Can you believe he asked for my number?" Of course I can, now be happy and flattered like you should be...
"BERT" (said with much fake enthusiasm) was our waiter for lunch. If you need anything, just holler for BERT (fake smile). Do you really need more lemon for your tea??? Well, let BERT get it for you (even though he's now looking at you like anyone who needs more than 3 slices of lemon in their tea is absolutely barking mad). BERT doesn't seem overly fond of his job...
AND THEN THERE WERE PEDICURES. My friend and I, each in our own massage chair, in a private room together (does that make it semi-private?) letting someone else pamper our cute little tootsies. Or my monkey toes and her stove-pipe toes, however you want to look at it.
Good Day...
1. Shopping
2. Lunch
3. Shopping
4. Shopping (many shoes were bought)
5. Pedicures
6. Ice Cream (funnel cake for me, thank you).
Does it get ANY better than that??!!
A good looking guy asked for my friend's number. She's been married for a bit now, so she was completely shocked and it made me laugh. "Can you believe he asked for my number?" Of course I can, now be happy and flattered like you should be...
"BERT" (said with much fake enthusiasm) was our waiter for lunch. If you need anything, just holler for BERT (fake smile). Do you really need more lemon for your tea??? Well, let BERT get it for you (even though he's now looking at you like anyone who needs more than 3 slices of lemon in their tea is absolutely barking mad). BERT doesn't seem overly fond of his job...
AND THEN THERE WERE PEDICURES. My friend and I, each in our own massage chair, in a private room together (does that make it semi-private?) letting someone else pamper our cute little tootsies. Or my monkey toes and her stove-pipe toes, however you want to look at it.
Good Day...
Monday, July 9, 2007
Those clever English people!
I just did a closing with a couple from England and they used words like cheeky and splendid. They called me "love."
I like those English people...
I like those English people...
Farewell Joel...
Woe. Woe and sorrow.
I sat this morning trying to put my make-up on and watching Good Morning America while the whole troupe from the show, past and present, lamented the loss of their beloved movie critic, Joel Siegel.
Unaware that he had cancer, I was naturally surprised.
It was really a very nice show this morning. The reporters all telling their favorite stories about time spent with Joel. Actors and Directors calling in to share as well. I hunkered in my favorite recliner (those hidey holes in the arms are perfect for keeping my make-up in!) trying to apply eyeliner and keep the tears back at the same time.
It was that damned Diane Sawyer who caused it. As she started to sign off for a commercial, she lost her voice and began to cry (in a very classy Diane Sawyer type way) and I completely lost it. I cannot bear to see another human cry, let alone Diane Sawyer! Tears my heart out, you see.
I did not know much about Joel Siegel until this morning, but by all accounts he was an intelligent, positive, loving, giving person. A rarity, especially among the usual wolf-dog pack of Hollywood critics. It seemed a very well deserved send-off given by people he most certainly loved. Very nice.
Many many thoughts have whirled around my head today after watching this. One of them being, How does that Diane Sawyer cry while still looking so classy and collected?" I start to cry and my whole face goes into a rage of twitches fit to cause all manner of panic. And I can't talk when I'm crying. I sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. Good for her. That Diane Sawyer sure is uptown.
Another thing is that they talked about the fact that Joel's physician had suggested he go get a colonoscopy when he was 50. He waited until he was 53 and, although he lived for 12 more years with treatment, the doctor confirmed that if he had received the test a mere 3 years earlier, it would have saved his life. I find that very sad, especially considering what a kind, life-loving person he seemed to be. It's amazing that such a short period of time could cause such a difference in the outcome. Incredibly glum..
And finally, I think that the way the staff of GMA handled his sending off was perfect. Rather than sorrowfully mourn his loss, the show was dedicated to celebrating his life. What better send off could a person ask for? As far as I'm concerned, take my ashes and throw them someplace nice and then let the party begin!
I sat this morning trying to put my make-up on and watching Good Morning America while the whole troupe from the show, past and present, lamented the loss of their beloved movie critic, Joel Siegel.
Unaware that he had cancer, I was naturally surprised.
It was really a very nice show this morning. The reporters all telling their favorite stories about time spent with Joel. Actors and Directors calling in to share as well. I hunkered in my favorite recliner (those hidey holes in the arms are perfect for keeping my make-up in!) trying to apply eyeliner and keep the tears back at the same time.
It was that damned Diane Sawyer who caused it. As she started to sign off for a commercial, she lost her voice and began to cry (in a very classy Diane Sawyer type way) and I completely lost it. I cannot bear to see another human cry, let alone Diane Sawyer! Tears my heart out, you see.
I did not know much about Joel Siegel until this morning, but by all accounts he was an intelligent, positive, loving, giving person. A rarity, especially among the usual wolf-dog pack of Hollywood critics. It seemed a very well deserved send-off given by people he most certainly loved. Very nice.
Many many thoughts have whirled around my head today after watching this. One of them being, How does that Diane Sawyer cry while still looking so classy and collected?" I start to cry and my whole face goes into a rage of twitches fit to cause all manner of panic. And I can't talk when I'm crying. I sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. Good for her. That Diane Sawyer sure is uptown.
Another thing is that they talked about the fact that Joel's physician had suggested he go get a colonoscopy when he was 50. He waited until he was 53 and, although he lived for 12 more years with treatment, the doctor confirmed that if he had received the test a mere 3 years earlier, it would have saved his life. I find that very sad, especially considering what a kind, life-loving person he seemed to be. It's amazing that such a short period of time could cause such a difference in the outcome. Incredibly glum..
And finally, I think that the way the staff of GMA handled his sending off was perfect. Rather than sorrowfully mourn his loss, the show was dedicated to celebrating his life. What better send off could a person ask for? As far as I'm concerned, take my ashes and throw them someplace nice and then let the party begin!
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Tell us what you really think...
Before I go into this story, I need to explain what kind of town I'm talking about when I talk about Eureka Springs. It is a quaint, historic little town where EVERYONE is welcomed. Any alternative lifestyle can be found in the beautiful people who live in this area. It is a lovely place full of lovely people of all ages, shapes, colors, creeds and styles and I am always joyously happy when I am among them. That said...
I was doing a closing the other day with an ordinary looking couple who sat across from me as if they were just normal polite human beings...looks can be so deceiving.
As the husband was going through the stack of paper I had given him, repeatedly signing his name, I began making small talk with the Mrs.
Me: So, I see you don't live far from Eureka Springs. My husband and I visit there a lot for
the different festivals.
Her: I never go there. I won't expose myself or my children to that place (place said with such ferocity that I almost didn't continue in this vein).
Curiosity getting the best of me, though, I asked her if she had had a bad experience there in the past and she answered:
Well, you KNOW they've made it legal to smoke MARIJUANA there, don't you?
I know that they've made it a low priority to arrest people who carry small amounts of it.
Well, they're probably just standing around on the street corners smoking it up all over town!
I didn't see anyone smoking it up while I was there.
Well, they support homosexuality (whispered as if saying it out loud would cause her want to crawl under the table and begin licking my cooch that immediate second).
Yes, it's a very diverse community.
AND THE BIKERS, Oh, they're just everywhere.
Yeah, Fucking 2 wheeled motorists, they are...wtf!!? (this one I just thought to myself as I
would like to continue making a living by not pissing off new owners).
I thought for a fleeting moment maybe the Mr. would tell her to shut her mouth, but no such warning came because this wormy little turd was too busy nodding his head and agreeing with everything Mrs. Bigot said like some underfed dog waiting for a crumb if he did his tricks right.
By the time I was done making their copies and sending them on their way, I was flushed and angry and biting my tongue like never before. I IMMEDIATELY called my husband who laughed uncontrollably at me, knowing how hard it was for me to keep my mouth shut and not unload on this uncouth bitch.
Wake up people. It's 2007. Bigotry - unacceptable.
I was doing a closing the other day with an ordinary looking couple who sat across from me as if they were just normal polite human beings...looks can be so deceiving.
As the husband was going through the stack of paper I had given him, repeatedly signing his name, I began making small talk with the Mrs.
Me: So, I see you don't live far from Eureka Springs. My husband and I visit there a lot for
the different festivals.
Her: I never go there. I won't expose myself or my children to that place (place said with such ferocity that I almost didn't continue in this vein).
Curiosity getting the best of me, though, I asked her if she had had a bad experience there in the past and she answered:
Well, you KNOW they've made it legal to smoke MARIJUANA there, don't you?
I know that they've made it a low priority to arrest people who carry small amounts of it.
Well, they're probably just standing around on the street corners smoking it up all over town!
I didn't see anyone smoking it up while I was there.
Well, they support homosexuality (whispered as if saying it out loud would cause her want to crawl under the table and begin licking my cooch that immediate second).
Yes, it's a very diverse community.
AND THE BIKERS, Oh, they're just everywhere.
Yeah, Fucking 2 wheeled motorists, they are...wtf!!? (this one I just thought to myself as I
would like to continue making a living by not pissing off new owners).
I thought for a fleeting moment maybe the Mr. would tell her to shut her mouth, but no such warning came because this wormy little turd was too busy nodding his head and agreeing with everything Mrs. Bigot said like some underfed dog waiting for a crumb if he did his tricks right.
By the time I was done making their copies and sending them on their way, I was flushed and angry and biting my tongue like never before. I IMMEDIATELY called my husband who laughed uncontrollably at me, knowing how hard it was for me to keep my mouth shut and not unload on this uncouth bitch.
Wake up people. It's 2007. Bigotry - unacceptable.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Girl Friday, feck off!
So, I'm sitting in my office, quietly reading and generally enjoying my day when a co-worker of mine trots in and (without invitation) makes herself comfortable in one of my poufy chairs. I say to myself, "Ah, no biggy, she'll have to return to her office before long." It soon became quite clear that I was sadly and sorely mistaken.
I stifled yawns during the story of her newly born baby fish. She and her husband are perfectly capable of raising them WITHOUT everyone elses advice because her husband has had fish before (if only owning something DID make you an expert...).
I thought seriously about just yelling at her to shut the feck up when she started in about her 3 year old son who is still not potty trained and his father who won't help with the potty training. Since she and I will probably continue to work here together, I had to rule that out.
I began having thoughts of suicide when she rattled on about her brother who she has decided is gay (and so what if he is, good for him, I thought) and who still lives at home, buying his mother make-up from QVC. Really. I thought to myself that just maybe, if I jumped out the window, I could get away. A picture entered my -so bored I could absolutely fall over dead from it head-in which I stealthily jumped through said window, landing on the second-story deck and then grabbed the deck railing to gracefully glide over the side and land lightly on the fresh green grass below where I would run screaming to my vehicle and speed away... I lost track of what she was talking about and in the same instance realized it didn't matter because it's all the same.
Whine Whine blah...whine blah blah.. whine bitch blah... blah blah whine... Really, does she not have anything to do in her office??
My dear old dad has a saying that goes, "If you stop broadcasting and start tuning in, you just might learn something." Well, let me tell you, this particular girl is in no immediate danger of education.
I stifled yawns during the story of her newly born baby fish. She and her husband are perfectly capable of raising them WITHOUT everyone elses advice because her husband has had fish before (if only owning something DID make you an expert...).
I thought seriously about just yelling at her to shut the feck up when she started in about her 3 year old son who is still not potty trained and his father who won't help with the potty training. Since she and I will probably continue to work here together, I had to rule that out.
I began having thoughts of suicide when she rattled on about her brother who she has decided is gay (and so what if he is, good for him, I thought) and who still lives at home, buying his mother make-up from QVC. Really. I thought to myself that just maybe, if I jumped out the window, I could get away. A picture entered my -so bored I could absolutely fall over dead from it head-in which I stealthily jumped through said window, landing on the second-story deck and then grabbed the deck railing to gracefully glide over the side and land lightly on the fresh green grass below where I would run screaming to my vehicle and speed away... I lost track of what she was talking about and in the same instance realized it didn't matter because it's all the same.
Whine Whine blah...whine blah blah.. whine bitch blah... blah blah whine... Really, does she not have anything to do in her office??
My dear old dad has a saying that goes, "If you stop broadcasting and start tuning in, you just might learn something." Well, let me tell you, this particular girl is in no immediate danger of education.
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